Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Life is a route, start afresh when needed

“Please do not throw them out Mom.” 

“Why not? Your room is extremely cluttered.” Mom shouted.

“These are the last few things left out, I want to keep them with me.” I could not keep my eye drops blocked anymore.

“You will have to leave them, my love. These all are past now. Don’t ever look back….whole life is lying in front of you ….start a new life, do a new beginning ….all joy awaits you….” Mom tried to make me understand caressing my hair.   

“Tomorrow Rohan’s family members will be coming to see you. Change your mood. Think life afresh.” She added. 

Yes, it’s been just a year now, when life took an unexpected turn, when the destiny imparted me some misery, from which it is still tough to get to my feet. 

It was 5th March last year. Light, colours, ornaments, decoration everywhere. Full masti was going on in the wedding mandap. I was truly excited as my 10 years of affair with Raj would get a permanent name and designation; as if the time was passing very slowly that day. Because of the guests, friends, and family members, it was becoming damn difficult to talk to Raj on phone. Last two days before the wedding, we decided not to talk much anyways. I was just desperately waiting for his arrival at my home….to the moment he would put sindur on my head and take me along as his bride.

Punditjee informed us that the auspicious moment for the exchanging the vows was between 10 pm till  11:30 pm. So, both the parties had decided that the bridegroom would arrive at the mandap at 10 pm sharp. Raj’s house was 100 kilometers away from my home.

Since the evening, I was just looking at the watch in every half an hour.

It was 9:30 pm. The harmony of ladies sangeet was enthralling the atmosphere.

10 pm, 10:30 pm…No one from bridegroom side arrived. All started feeling uneasy gradually…..specially my Mom, she was a bit apprehensive and was just blabbering, “How irresponsible people…!!!” Probably she was embarrassed in front of our relatives.  I was really angry on Raj how come he could become so careless while he always used to reach the venue of dating before time.

11 pm. I called up at his mobile. It was just ringing, he did not pick up. I got scared. I called up atleast 40 times. I called up his cousin…..he also did not pick up my call. 

In few minutes, all people gathered around me…….I just heard somebody saying, “There is an accident…..Raj is no more…………..”

That’s all. All finished……for me. I did not know how many days I was in the hospital…..My sister, my Mom, Dad and aunt…all took me home one day……Since then the stuff like Raj’s photograph, things he gifted me, the letters he wrote to me, all became my best comrade.

But how long would I mourn in this way!! My family members, Raj’s Mom and Dad all have been trying to make me understand that this was not the end of my life. The whole life is lying in front of me.

One of my best buddies in school, also a very good friend of Raj, Rohan expressed his willingness to marry me. I knew he had a soft corner for me before I felt in love with Raj. He is settled in US now. His parents and family members would come to my home to see me tomorrow. 

Thinking for many weeks, looking at the faces of my parents, my well-wishers, I tried to console myself that no one can change the destiny. My mind said, “So go ahead. No more whine. Life is a route one wanna keep going…” I decided to say yes to Rohan’s proposal, and start a new life.

I handed over to my mom the last reminiscence of Raj, his photograph with a divine smile, “I want to embark a new beginning Mom!”

My mom hugged me tight. I could feel few warm drops of water on my shoulder. I was determined. 

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