Love at Forty Two

I was in deep dilemma. I kept thinking for many hours in the terrace. Today, Raj had not even come up to check if I was asleep in the terrace itself.  Yes! Many a days, I fell asleep in the jhula (swing), while talking to Rohan. 

The wind was tangling my hair and chilling my skin. The jhula was cozy enough and the cool breeze took me decades back.

I met Raj in my high school. He was one year senior to me. He was cute, energetic, an avid footballer and a guitarist with gentle soul, and was very popular among all girls of my schools. Thinking of his youth days made my blood rush faster and my heart pound. I still could recall him standing in front of the school gate, when one of my friends introduced me to him. He looked at me and my heart skipped a few beats. His intense eyes looked at me with a smile that made me fall for him for life. We dated all through high school and decided to get married straight after our studies. My parents did not approve and I could not leave Raj. My father stopped talking to me and almost disowned me. At that time, I thought that sacrificing them for him was a good bargain. But, now I felt, may be, I was wrong. Raj was a good husband in the beginning. We struggled for money, but our first ten years together were fantastic.

As time passed, I started climbing my career ladder fast. I became more confident and my career was reaching its peak. Raj as always stood by me, always guiding me and continuing to push me for more progress.  But, gradually, I started feeling that he was not career oriented, like me, and I could see less aggression in everything in life. I no longer liked him giving advice.  I felt that I was more capable of deciding what to do.  Our differences started to grow.  We started quarreling very frequently. It grew with time.  

And, now, Rohan came to my life. He was smart, dashing, handsome. He was the director of the company. We did many business trips together. Gradually, we were becoming closer. His wife was a home maker, for which she never could understand the criticality of his corporate life. Now, Rohan wanted to take a step forward. He proposed me formally whether we could get married….

I was thoughtful during my dinner time. Raj asked what happened to me….I said nothing. He said, “Don’t take so much stress…take some rest. You work so hard. No need of….”

I could not take more. I instantly shouted, “I am not the one to listen to you always, I can decide what’s best for me, I am successful. I earn more than you. If you do not like it, go to hell.”  Saying that, I came to the terrace. 

My kid had been a blessing. He had already slept. These days, hardly I get time to spend with him. My memories started flooding, how Raj took care of him while I had to travel from office, how he managed my son to score A+ in all his exams, how he used to play with him during the summer vacations.

Now, I was 42. Yes, I was in love with Rohan. I was in dilemma.

#AtoZChallenge 
My theme : Imagination and reality